More Ukulele Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a ukulele and a chainsaw?
A: You can tune a chainsaw.

Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a ukulele case.

Q: How many ukulele players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 13 - one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"

Ukulele Player: "Did you hear my last gig?"
Friend: "I hope so."

Perfect Pitch: When you throw a ukulele into the toilet and it doesn't hit the sides.

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a ukulele player."
She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Three ukulele players were walked out of a bar...

Three ukulele players walk past a bar...

Q: How does a ukulele player's brain cell die?
A: Alone.

Q: How are a ukulele player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command your urgent attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of range.

Q: What's the difference between a dead chicken in the road, and a dead ukulele player in the road?
A: There's a remote chance the chicken was on its way to a gig.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A ukulele player.

Q: If you see a jazz guitarist and a ukulele player in the middle of the road, who would you run over first?
A: The jazz guitarist business before pleasure.

Q: What do you do if you see a bleeding ukulele player running around in your back garden?
A: Stop laughing and shoot again.

Q: How do you get a ukulele player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose

Q: What do you throw a drowning ukulele player?
A: His amp.

What's the difference between a ukulele player and a pension?
One will eventually mature and make some money.