Even more ukulele jokes

More ukulele jokes, found on http://www.ukuleleunderground.com

What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?
It takes half as long to burn a ukulele.

What's the difference between a ukulele player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.

A ukulele player suddenly realizes he left his vintage ukulele out in his car over night. He rushes outside and  his heart drops when he sees that his car window is broken. Fearing the worst, he peeks through the window and finds that there are now five ukuleles in his car.

A banjo player and his wife were woken at 3 o'clock in the morning by loud knocking on the door.
The banjo player got up, went to the door and found a ukulele player standing in the pouring rain.
"I need a push", said the ukulele player.
"Not a chance", said the banjo player, "it's 3 o'clock in the morning", slammed the door and went back to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some ukulele player bloke asking for a push", he answered.
"Did you help him?", she asked.
"No, I did not, it's 3 o'clock in the morning and it's pouring rain outside" he said.
"Well, .... you have a short memory", said the wife, "don't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two nice young men helped us?. I think you should help him and you should be ashamed of yourself".
The banjo player does as he's told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He called out into the dark night, "Hello, are you still there?".
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", called the banjo player.
"Yes please", came the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?", asked the banjo player.
The ukulele player replied, "Over here on the swing".

How do you make a million dollars playing uke?
Start with two million.

Teacher: Where do you find the Aegean Sea?
Student: On the first, fourth and third strings.

Two women are in a music store. The first woman is looking at the ukulele the second woman is holding. The second woman notices and says, "I got this for my husband." First woman nods in appreciation and says, "good trade."

What is the difference between a ukulele player and a walrus?
One has whiskers and smells of fish and the other one is a walrus.

Two uke players played a New Year's eve gig at a local bar. At the end of the night the manager came up to them and said, "That wasn't so bad. Can I book you to play next New Year's too?"
The uke players glanced at each other, then one said, "That's cool. Could we leave our stuff here in the meantime?"