More Ukulele Jokes

Q: What's the difference between a ukulele and a chainsaw?
A: You can tune a chainsaw.

Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a ukulele case.

Q: How many ukulele players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 13 - one to do it, and twelve to stand around and say, "Phhhwt! I can do that!"

Ukulele Player: "Did you hear my last gig?"
Friend: "I hope so."

Perfect Pitch: When you throw a ukulele into the toilet and it doesn't hit the sides.

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a ukulele player."
She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Three ukulele players were walked out of a bar...

Three ukulele players walk past a bar...

Q: How does a ukulele player's brain cell die?
A: Alone.

Q: How are a ukulele player and a blind javelin thrower alike?
A: Both command your urgent attention and alarm, and force everyone to move out of range.

Q: What's the difference between a dead chicken in the road, and a dead ukulele player in the road?
A: There's a remote chance the chicken was on its way to a gig.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A ukulele player.

Q: If you see a jazz guitarist and a ukulele player in the middle of the road, who would you run over first?
A: The jazz guitarist business before pleasure.

Q: What do you do if you see a bleeding ukulele player running around in your back garden?
A: Stop laughing and shoot again.

Q: How do you get a ukulele player out of a tree?
A: Cut the noose

Q: What do you throw a drowning ukulele player?
A: His amp.

What's the difference between a ukulele player and a pension?
One will eventually mature and make some money.

Watchin' the wheels

A good song for chillin with. Strum like this girl. Syncopated rhythm, but laid back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKu6l9MaHs0

John Lennon – Watchin’ the Wheels

C                              F                    C
People say I'm crazy doing what I'm doing.
C                                                         F                       C
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin.
F                       Dm              G                               G7
When I say that I'm o.k. they look at me kind of strange.
F                      Dm                      G                               G7
Surely your not happy now you no longer play the game.

C                           F                  C
People say I'm lazy dreaming my life away.
C                                                     F                   C
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me.
F                            Dm                        G                               G7
When I tell that I'm doing fine watching shadows on the wall,
F                           Dm                            G                                   G/F
Don't you miss the big time boy you're no longer on the ball?

F           G                                   C                              Am
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
F         Am                             Dm7          
I really love to watch them roll.
G             G/F             Am                   D7
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
F       Fm                 C
I just had to let it go.

C                                  F             C
People asking questions lost in confusion.
C                                                   F         C
Well I tell them there's no problem, only solutions.
F                                                      Dm               G
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I've lost my mind
F                              Dm                G                               G7
I tell them there's no hurry I'm just sitting here doing time.

F           G7                                   C                              Am
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
F         Am                             Dm7          
I really love to watch them roll.
G             G7             Am                   D7
No longer riding on the merry-go-round.
F       Fm                 C
I just had to let it go. (Repeat 3x)